Angry sex
by ar-men15
Summary: What if in ep 6 se 4 something different happens, if an old friend makes a return, if a bound is too strong to be betrayed... Reviews are welcomed.
1. Chapter 1

ANGRY SEX

IMPORTANT: SPOILERS SE 4, IF YOU HAVE NOT SEEN IT, BE AWARE.

As usual, no copyright infringement, all rights belong to authors and producers

Special thanks to my friend Maria who helped me so much with ideas, quotes and suggestions (and insisted to keep the title as described)

CHAPTER 1

"Rohde, you have a visitor."  
The guard called Martin from the entrance of the prison library.  
"Thanks, Bo, I hope it's one of the girls, they are always so busy, few time they have to see their old dad."  
"It's good they visit, come on, don't waist your time."  
The guards were keener to Martin than the others inmates, he was a man of the law, before, and the law was something that remained glue to him.  
Martin opened the door to the visiting room with a big smile already prepared and saw Saga Noren at the other side of the table.  
He stopped. Three years without seeing her, never a visit, a card, nothing.  
He imagined she was angry with him, because he had let her down.  
She was the one who discovered his mistake and he should have predicted, in 30 years as a cop she was the best he had worked with.  
But he was happy to see her, he had often hoped she'd came to meet him, the reject, the man on the other side, the dark one.  
Her old friend.  
Former friend.  
Especially after she went to prison, too.  
Saga raised her head from the papers she was reading and Martin saw the difference.  
No more the hard rock he used to know, unbreakable, unforgiven, without mistakes.  
The little things he well remembered about her, the self confidence, the eyes darting around, the rigid posture, no more the same.  
"I need to know about a case. Five years ago, regarding Tommy the informer and a shootout. Every detail."  
"Hallo, Saga."  
"Martin."  
She had no time for pleasantries, Martin noticed.  
There was such an urgency in her request, like her life depended on his fast answers.  
He started explaining the operation failure, the massacre, how the boss forbidden to interfere in the operation, the bodies found the morning after, the headlines and polemics with the authorities and the politicians.  
She took notes on the phone.  
He wondered if her infallible memory was vanishing, his suspicions increased.  
"Why didn't you ask my substitute about it? He was more involved than me, Tommy was his main informer."  
"Henrik doesn't want to talk with me now."  
"Impossible, I know you worked so well for the Anker case that Lilian teamed you up again. Here news are the only things that keep me up, I've lots of time to listen. Lots of friends who pays me visits"  
"Possible. Me and Henrik are in a crisis. We had been sexual partners for two years now and lived together after prison."  
Martin was at a loss for words.  
The boy she lived with for a few months, Jakob, has been such a failure he doubted she'd ever try again, especially with a colleague, a man with a tragic past like Sabroe.  
"I remember when his family went missing. We all tried to support him, spent extra free hours in the search. He took a leave, then was back and isolated himself from everybody, except work. Me and Mette invited him home for dinner and he politely refused. I suppose the sight of my girls was too painful for him. So I never imagined you'd hook up with him. He was so hurt."  
"He used drugs for a long time, he's off now, he says because of me."  
"He needed a way to survive the pain, I suppose. I was a mess with my son but I had the others and Mette. He lost everybody."  
"He saved me. I tried to kill myself where my sister did. He came for me."  
Every word from Saga added more confusion in Martin, until the last blow.  
Abortion and love.  
She loved Henrik so she decided not to have his child; he became angry and rejected her.  
Martin felt pity for both of them, lost in their own sorrow.  
She never desired children, but had she really discovered love? How did it happen? Why Saga let her barriers fall?  
Saga nominated a psychologist, an idea from Henrik, and Martin presumed that man did care for her. After their partnership broke and Hans died, Martin was worried for Saga, alone in a world without a friend or a mentor. And now she was letting slip away what could be the best opportunity of her life.  
"Did Henrik ever tell he loves you?"  
"He says he needs me. He wants us to be a couple, to live together and I'm afraid… I offered him to have the baby and raise it on his own, alone."  
Martin kept to himself the conviction that it was a foolish, completely absurd idea; Henrik probably was too desperate to refuse and Saga too confused about her feelings.  
"Saga, you saw me crying over my boy, the pain when you loose a child is too much, how can he be different than me?"  
Saga's head started moving in her usual automatic reflex, she looked at Martin in a strange way, like she finally connected his loss with what she denied Henrik.  
"Do you think he already loved the embryo?"  
"I loved my kids as soon as their mothers told me they were expecting."  
"I thought I was doing the right thing and I was wrong again."  
"It is not so easy, Saga, if only you had talked with him before doing it….he's not a one night stand, got the right to be involved in the decision."  
"Not legally."  
"No, but maybe he'd understand you better, what are you going to do now?"  
"I don't know, he's so angry, whatever I do or say."


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2

Henrik swallowed another pill before entering the concert hall.  
The third in half an hour.  
It had been an hell of a day, being in the same office with Saga, trying to avoid her and feeling her eyes on his back the whole time, her gaze burning his skin.  
He tried to focus on the case, on Tommy, reading the old files, discussing it with Lilian but Saga was there, her presence, her voice, her steps when she moved through desks.  
His third child was dead, like the other two sure were.  
A child with dead parents was called orphan, a father with dead children? It was so terrible nobody dared to find a word for such a grief.  
He desperately wanted to concentrate on his case; his mind was slippery and he was always in his kitchen, hearing her words.  
I think I'm in love with you …  
He considered them the most absurd words she could say to justify her actions.  
He was unable to understand her, to see her logic, to grab her point.  
He left office early, Lilian let him go, knowing he had spent extra shifts in the last few days.  
At home he changed and prepared for the evening out, avoiding to look too much at himself in the mirror.  
He was sure shame and guilt were already written in red letters on his face.  
A jazz concert. A singles club meeting.  
The music flow over Henrik and he did not heard a note. He just wanted it to finish and grab a warm body to have an hour of relief.  
He moved through the hall looking at the women.  
At first his head was spinning, each face melted into the others, then he took a deep breath to steady himself and scanned around.  
A blonde with long legs and a black dress. Slim. Elegant. It could be.  
He approached her and soon she suggested a drink. He paid for two gin tonic and they sat at a corner table of the bouvette. Her name was Tanya, she was a lawyer, recently divorced.  
Henrik charming smile was winning her over and soon she emptied her glass, so Henrik went to the desk to order another round and a man before him was paying. When he turned, Henrik believed to see Martin.  
It was impossible. Martin was in prison, Henrik was sure. Lilian told him that Saga visited him.  
Saga.  
She went to Martin.  
He shook his head.  
No Saga, no Martin, not now.  
He took Tanya the drink but his stomach tensed and the taste of alcohol become awful. He left his glass quite untouched.  
The Martin like man was seated two tables across Henrik, with a woman of the club.  
Henrik tried to look at Tanya instead of him, in vain; he was compelled to fix he grey beard and hair and then he was sure there was Saga at the table with him.  
He could not bear to have visions again, he had to go away, to hell Tanya and all the club stuff.  
He walked over, not hearing the blonde calling him back, walking faster and faster, running; when he left the parking lot instead of going home he headed the car in direction of the office.  
He was drawn to Saga like a moth to a flame, ready to burn and become ashes, not caring anymore about his life.  
Henrik reached the upper floor where three rooms had been converted as emergency bedrooms; two doors were ajar, one closed.  
He took off his pocket light and opened the third door, the white light showed her frame on the bed, sleeping on her left side.  
Henrik undressed in silence, only his underwear still on when he entered the small bed, spooning her, slowly touching her.  
Saga woke when she felt pressed between the wall and a warm body; it was him, she smelled his aftershave and recognized his touch.  
He started grinding his hips against her, she felt he was already ready.  
She tried to turn around but Henrik stopped her.  
Henrik hands roamed on her, touching all the spots he knew so well, freeing her of underwear and t shirt.  
She didn't move, couldn't move, she knew he had a point. He was touching her and she felt paralyzed, her body of its own choice was responding to him, her body desperately wanted him.  
For the first time her mind had no control on the rest of her. Frightening. Intoxicating.  
Then his voice broke the silence. Low, harsh, angry.  
"You went to see Martin?"  
"Yes."  
"To talk?"  
"Yes."  
"Poor old Martin. Did you have sex with him when you worked together?"  
"I never had sex with him!"  
"What a pity. His vasectomy was so convenient, no risk to get knocked up."  
"Martin was a friend, just a friend for me."  
"And who am I for you? The fool who loves you?"  
"You.. love me?"  
She murmured, quite unbelieving the words.  
It was hard to concentrate with his demanding hands that were pushing all the right buttons to make her squirm.  
"Yes, what else can I do to show you? For me we were not having only sex, we were making love and we created a new life."  
Henrik put an hand on her empty belly.  
"You didn't care if I daydreamed about our child, if I imagined to hold him in my arms…."  
His voice broke and Saga felt tears on her ear and neck.  
She heard him take a long breath, then like a whisper.  
"I must be the foulest man on earth. Each time I came to the prison to see you it was so painful. I wished it was me locked in instead of you, when I saw you struggling so hard there. And you talked with Martin, not me."  
"Henrik, I …"  
"Shut up."  
He did not let continue, his hand lightly pinched a nipple, eliciting moans of pleasure.  
All her sensitive spots were on fire, her body responding to his ministrations, her mind trying to process his words.  
He lowered his boxers and grabbed Saga by the waist to make her lie on her stomach. He settled between her legs, lifted up her bottom and entered in a single motion.  
She tensed for some discomfort, her tissues were still sensitive after the abortion, when he pushed she tried to dislodge him but he grabbed her hips with an iron grip.  
"Something wrong?"  
"It was only a few days ago…"  
He was in part glad that she was feeling pain, a now useless revenge for his child, but he moved his hand under her, touched her bud and she buckled and moaned in response.  
"Better?"  
She nodded. How it could be so intense with him, always? Why it was so? Because she was in love? Saga asked herself if his desperate need was just another face of love, the dark side.  
He passed an hand slowly over her spine, all the contour, wanting to feel her, not caring if she did not want to be caressed, then his thrusts started again, hard, fast. He was excited by the way she wriggled under him, that he could make her come so easily.  
This time he was the one in control, he simply wanted to take her and make her forget everybody else.  
It was all over soon, she come around him and he emptied himself, resisting the temptation to hug her for a while.  
He left the bed and pick up his trousers, in the pale light he saw blood on his penis and his boxers were stained.  
She turned and looked at him, but he offered his back only while dressing hurriedly.  
"Henrik."  
She called him again.  
"Please, Henrik."  
He took off his jacket and coat and left the room, running, never turning back.


	3. Chapter 3

As usual, no copyright infringement, all rights belong to authors and producers

Lilian was ready to call it a night for everybody.  
Jonas was talking with Barbara about some data he wanted her to find and Saga was listening to them.  
Lilian took the phone and called Henrik's number, she wanted to know how he was feeling; he did not answered and her face become concerned. She started tapping the desk with her free hand.  
"What's wrong?" John asked.  
"Henrik doesn't answer me."  
She tried again and saw that Saga had become alerted, too.  
When the familiar voice answered, Lilian was relieved.  
"Hallo, how are you?"  
"Not at my best, it hurts a lot. And I feel hot."  
"Fever? Did your doctor prescribed something to take for the pain?"  
"Yes, I have some pills."  
"Ok, if you need something call me."  
"Thanks, Lilian"  
Saga stood up and hovered over Lilian desk  
"Is he in pain?"  
"Yes, and fever."  
"I go to him."  
"Saga, wait, do you think it is a good idea?"  
But she was already gone, her steps echoed along the corridor, she left without listening; Lillian shook her head and let the team go home.  
Saga drove thinking that Lilian was maybe right, it could indeed be a bad idea, but she had to see Henrik, they have to talk and sort out the mess they were into.  
Martin encouraged her and she imagined that if Henrik had a wound in his leg he could not escape from his house to avoid her.  
She took off the keys to open the front door and find silence, the house was dark.  
She called his name without answer, so she reached the bedroom door, half closed  
He was lying in bed, looking at her. His eyes shone in the darkness; she turned the light on and he squeezed his eyes shut for the sudden discomfort.  
"What do you want?"  
"See you."  
"You saw me, you can leave now."  
"I want to be sure you're all right. You're fevering, I see in your eyes."  
"Now you care about me?"  
She did not answer and left the room.  
Henrik turned off the light and looked at the ceiling, hoping she'd gone; he wanted to be alone, he could not bear to see Saga. His leg hurt like hell and his conscience too; he was a little ashamed of how he reacted about Martin and more ashamed about what happened after the evening at the club. He never was so close to force himself on a woman, it was a side of him he'd prefer to avoid.  
The only thing that saved him was that her body had responded to him, like always.  
Then a noise from the kitchen revealed Saga was still there.  
She reappeared with a steaming cup.  
"I've made some soup."  
"I'm not hungry."  
"You must eat, it will help you getting healed faster."  
"My head hurts."  
"He shot you in a leg, your head is a different matter, why it hurts?"  
Henik could not give her the real reason, so he lifted up a little and took the cup and the spoon Saga had prepared, while she used a small towel to keep the linens clean.  
He ate more than half of the cup, she checked what remained but did not disapprove.  
It was the first time she had cooked something for him, although it was a simple canned soup from the microwave she sure was used to consume alone in her apartment.  
She returned at the sink to clean the cup..  
Henrik closed his eyes, he was tired, not only physically for the wound but emotionally too, the event of the last days were hitting him hard, he let himself go and fell asleep.  
Saga was checking on him every quarter of an hour, pacing nervously the house all time. She could not read nor eat nor sleep; all she wanted was to talk with him.  
Henrik dreamed in his fever, dark images, somebody was cutting his skin, making a hole in his chest to remove his heart; he could not move, stripped to a wooden table, a white ghost was hovering over him and opening more and more the wound with a burning device.  
Saga was tied to a door and was screaming for help when the ghost approached her and pointed a knife at her big belly, wanting to kill the baby inside.  
Henrik woke up with a scream in a pool of sweat, trembling.  
He imagined to let himself drown in the sea of grief and never get up anymore to the surface, tiredness was so strong he wanted to give up and forget everything. There was nobody important for him, he was sure, his last hope had died a few days before, when Saga made her choice.  
Then he felt something fresh pressed on his forehead, a hand on his wrist to control the heartbeat, he smelled her snugs and opened his eyes, she had lit the lamp and was standing in t shirt and trousers by the bed, face concerned and eyes flickering.  
"You're getting worse."  
"I know."  
"In the bathroom cabinet I found paracetamol. Take one, here is the glass."  
She helped him stand up a little to take the pill. Was his imagination only or she kept her arm under his neck a little more than necessary?  
"You screamed, were you dreaming?"  
"Yes."  
He described the dream and she stay silent; the meaning was too clear.  
She noticed his eyes had lost the usual brightness and he appeared suddenly older,  
It was painful to look at him, Saga held her breath when she saw his feature contorted in an attempt to move.  
"I have to go to the bathroom."  
Saga moved to give him space.  
"I cannot get up by myself."  
Saga's upper body tensed, she scanned the room to find and offer him the crutches, but he shook his head, he did not have the strength to leave the bed unassisted.  
Saga put the crutches aside while Henrik removed the covers, then she pulled his legs until they were dangling on the side of the bed.  
She bent and placed his left arm over her shoulder, her right arm around his back; he was sweating, she felt him shivering and his cry of pain when the injured leg made contact with the floor.  
He leaned against her with all his weight, she had to steady herself to support him, they had to feel each other body and it was their worst desire; Henrik leaned on the bedroom door for a moment and when he tried to walk again he nearly fell.  
Saga embraced him with both arms and their faces were a few inches apart; she couldn't meet his eyes so she tuned her head toward the corridor and prompted him to continue.  
She left Henrik in the bathroom and run back to the bedroom to change the damp sheets, then returned to him to help getting into bed again.  
He fell on the mattress and closed his eyes.  
Saga looked at the watch, it was only midnight, the wake would be long; she went to the kitchen and poured herself some water, then rummaged in the fridge to make a sandwich, She opened the drawers to find a knife when she saw the little white pills in a plastic bag.  
Her brain froze, he was back with drugs, all his efforts were only a waste of time; she was sure he had opened the same drawer a few days ago and the pills were not there; she recalled the meal they had and it was two evenings before he sent her away.  
A sudden chill shake her.  
She retuned to Henrik with the pills in hand, waking him up.  
"Did you take them tonight?"  
He seemed confused, looked her face and at the pill bag alternatively, then he nodded.  
"Sleeping pills?"  
"No."  
"Something else?"  
"Painkiller before you arrived."  
"Good, a perfect trio. Do you really want to destroy your liver?"  
"I do not care anymore."  
He turned away from her, it was too painful to admit his dependence again, to see her hurt another time, but he could not help himself, pills were his only friend now.  
"I cannot let you destroy yourself."  
"Let me go, Saga, it is pointless now."  
"You do not understand, remember I said I love you."  
"A strange way to show love you had."  
"I know, I … I should have told you my idea. It does not change the fact that I never said I love you to anybody else before and I'm stubborn and difficult and I will not let you down this time. Now I control on internet the combined effect."  
She left the room and he heard fingers on the keyboard, she was fast and efficient like always, but she was pressing the keys too hard, betraying her inner tension.  
Henrik fell in a slumber again, he did not care to wake up or not, the last thing he remember before surrendering was that she had spoken of love again.  
Saga called Lund to have confirmation of the low risk due to the assumption of the substances and returned in the bedroom.  
Henrik was resting, his breath uneven but strong. She remained still for a long time, looking at him, then when she saw he was trying to free from the covers she impulsively get rid of her trousers and entered the bed, he had to stay warm.  
He was sweating and shivering at the same time, so Saga put another fresh cloth on his forehead and went closer, she felt her heart beating faster, she was torn between fear of touching him so intimately outside sex and desire to help. Her arm moved slowly over Henrik chest, the limb was trembling and she forced herself to continue, to place her head on his pillow.  
When they were in full contact she stayed still, listening to the silence and soon she was asleep.  
Henrik woke up feeling his throat dry and reached for the glass on the bedside table, but something was keeping him from doing it.  
He felt an arm draped over his chest and a face nestled in his neck; at first he imagined another dream, but Saga was heavy and real and her breathing was heating his skin..  
He tried to reach the glass without waking her up but it was too late, she opened her eyes and moved back, like she was caught in flagrance.  
"I was trying…you were refusing covers."  
She babbled an explanation, he remained silent.  
"If you want me to go …"  
She retreated her arm and he immediately missed the contact; Henrik turned to express his plea.  
"Please stay. But not only tonight. Stay."  
They were facing each other, the pain in Henrik's leg forgotten because he was lost in Saga's eyes.  
"I'll stay."  
"Could you touch me again?"  
Saga slowly approached him, her hand running over his arm, feeling the thin hair and the goose bumps he was having.  
When she reached his shoulder she passed her fingers on his neck, then his chin and Henrik close his eyes for a few seconds, the touch was so powerful he felt like falling.  
Saga traced the contour of his face and Henrik dared to drape an arm over her.  
She moved a little closer and he stopped breathing, afraid to break the spell. When Saga touched his cheeks, she felt his tears.

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	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Chapter Text

CH 4  
As usual, no copyright infringement, all rights belongs to authors and producers.

When she awake, Saga knew perfectly what to do: she'd find his girls, increase her efforts, continue until the truth was discovered.  
And if they were dead, or if ..if.. she had another way to make him a father again and this time for real.  
Linn called early in the morning, asking Saga immediate presence in Malmo. She look at Henrik who was sleeping peacefully on his back, so she got up and dressed, leaving him a short note on her pillow.  
Linn was waiting for Saga at the main entrance and briefly explained that a young man was in custody, from the strange skane village. Soon John received the request to elaborate an image that could save Henrik for real.  
On her way back to Copenhagen Saga made a deviation; Martin was surprised to see her again in a short period.  
"Like old times, hmm?"  
"Quite a little."  
"I did not expect you so soon again. You want more info about Tommy?"  
"No...I have to understand Henrik."  
"What happened?"  
"He is strange. He came at the station for me and he wanted me, but he didn't let me talk while we had sex."  
"You wanted to talk?"  
"Yes."  
"About what?"  
"Us. He was still angry, he had sent me away, so why he wanted sex?"  
"There is a thin line between love and hate Saga, he was tethering on it."  
"We could have sex without tethering, and he said he loves me, did he think I'd have refused him?"  
"It is not so simple… "  
Martin tried to stop her but her flow of words was too powerful. He understood she had more than Henrik to examine.  
"...and he asked me about you."  
"What did he say about me?"  
Martin became curious and he bended through the table toward Saga.  
"He wanted to know if we had sex when you were my partner. I told no."  
Martin smiled, a large and protective smile.  
Saga seemed puzzled for his reaction, in her mind there was nothing to smile about.  
"Oh, Saga, it is so simple, he is jealous."  
"Of who?"  
"Of me. Of every man you could look at."  
"But I do not look at men."  
"He loves you, Saga. Imagine him close to a woman, a younger and beautiful woman, what will you do? "  
She at first did not know what to say, she looked at Martin like he his question was completely out of place. Then she closed her eyes, forcing herself to imagine the scene.  
A woman like Nicole, blonde, with make up, a short dress who revealed her body, and Henrik at a singles club meeting, talking with her, smiling, holding her hand, embracing her.  
"No! Not with him!" she said aloud, without realising it was her voice.  
"Welcome to the world of love. It hurts, isn't it?"  
"I did not know it could be so hard."  
"If you want him you must meet him halfway. He'll do the same."  
"And if his girls should return?"  
"Your choice, Saga. You cannot split him in two, accept or leave is the only option."  
For her sake, Martin prayed she'd accept Henrik.  
He was the best thing that happened to Saga and he fervently hoped she'd realised it.  
He never saw her so exposed to another human being since they met.

Saga received from John the picture she was waiting for: five minutes after she was on her way to Malmo to see the young boy. If her idea was right, she could be back at Henrik with some very good news.  
When she had the proof, she drove straight to Denmark, it was a thing too important for a simple call, she had to see his face when he'd know, she need it, she deserved it.  
The car stop in front of the house and she got out hurriedly, fumbling with the keys to open the door, hand trembling.  
"Henrik!"  
She called while she closed the door with a loud sound.  
He was at the sink, a glass in his hand.  
"What?"  
"I found Astrid!"  
"You found who?"  
"Astrid, she lives in the village we visited."  
"Are you sure?"  
She showed him the phone with the elaboration John made from a old photo.  
"John did it, we are sure. We have to go, Linn has already set a rescue operation."  
The glass fell on the sink full of water, drops wetted both.  
Henrik face was suddenly lit by a new light, that did not disappeared also when she had to add the sad part, Anna was dead and her grave was there.  
In the car, the emotions that passed over Henrik face were so many Saga thought it was impossible to decipher all of them.  
His inner conflict between hope and sorrow was so painful to see that Saga had to concentrate on the drive.  
At the village, all happened in a frantic way, Frank keeping Astrid in the house, policemen entering, fumes, shots, Astrid walking outside and Henrik embracing her like he was learning again how to do it.  
Then they parted: Henrik followed Astrid on the ambulance, Saga returned at work alone, the passenger seat was empty and she avoided to look at it.  
Henrik thanked her later in the hospital corridor, because she did not gave up, but he returned soon at Astrid bedside.  
Saga worked until Lilian forced her to took a break; she decided to go to Henrik's house, she had promised him to stay, for the first time she would be alone there.  
Really alone.  
She felt a void inside.  
His presence was more important than she dared to imagine, she was a little envious because in that moment Astrid was having his full attention, his words, his looks.  
Astrid deserved that, after eight years of separation, but something screamed inside Saga, a voice she never heard before …. I need him too, I never needed somebody like him in my life.  
She had to talk with her doctor, soon, Martin explained her what jealousy was, but her feelings were a big ball of wires and she need to find the head.  
She went to sleep and in the middle on the night she woke up on his side of the bed, her head on his pillow, searching for his scent.  
She tried to think about the case, to evaluate all the options, to think about the links between the victims but her mind was unwilling to cooperate  
Henrik's face, lit by the pure joy to have one of his girls back, was all Saga could think about. ,  
The sleeping pills were no more on Henrik's bedside and Saga resigned to a sleepless night, like during the trial, when she found impossible to relax and he was the only one that could calm her.  
How many times she turned to him, to be sure he was there for real; he complied if she wanted sex but during the last days he admitted her desperation was so painful to see that he find difficult to perform sex.  
He did it because he knew for her it was the only way to connect.  
She remembered a rainy night, the sound of water on the glasses kept her awake and she went to the window, opening it to mix her tears with the raindrops.  
Henrik got up, too, coming behind her, not caring for the chilly air; he saw her shoulders sobbing and hugged her. When they returned to bed, he could only give her pleasure, until she relaxed in his arms.  
Saga wished Henrik was there, also with Astrid, so he could have those he loved in the same house.  
Martin's words echoed in her mind, Henrik's absence become so strong that she texted him, asking how Astrid was going on, just to connect.  
He read and answered immediately that she was better; Saga asked if she could call and Henrik was faster, his voice a little raspy, like he had cried a lot.  
Astrid was sleeping and he tried to do the same in a armchair beside her bed, his leg was swollen and he was restless.  
"I cannot sleep. I woke up on your side."  
"Are you at home?"  
"Yes, I went here from work, you told me to stay."  
Her words were a blessing for Henrik, never he dared she'd really stay after the night she nursed him back to life.  
"I'm glad. It means a lot for me."  
"It is different to be alone here, it seems you can enter the door any moment now, but you're not here."  
"I'll be there soon, I hope. It all happened so fast. And I called my mother to tell her the big news."  
"Was she happy?"  
"She and Dad cried all time. They want to come soon. I'll find a way to be home with you. I promise."  
"So we talk. I try to sleep now."  
She settled more comfortably on his side and soon sleep took her over.


	5. Chapter 5

CHAPTER 5  
As usual, no copyright infringements, all rights belong to authors and producers

Saga opened the front door and headed for the couch. It was really late and she was exhausted: all her strength left her body, having to deal with the aftermath of Susanne shooting, the arrest, pages of reports.  
The fall had been hard, chest and back hurt like hell, something was cracking in her right elbow that absorbed all the impact.  
Lilian wanted her to go to hospital for an x ray, Saga refused; she had to rest for a while, promising to see a doctor only if come tomorrow the swelling would increase.  
No sounds in the house, Astrid door was closed, a light filtered from under the bathroom door;  
Saga raised her legs on the couch to rest more comfortably, she barely remembered such a complete tiredness.  
She was hungry, too, maybe some leftovers were in the fridge, if only she could find the energies to got up.  
The bathroom door opened and Henrik saw her. He was clad in his robe, hair wet from a shower.  
"It is so late I thought you'd sleep at the station."  
"I needed to go away or Lilian would have forced me to go to hospital."  
"Why?"  
"My elbow hurts."  
"Let me see."  
He sat beside her and Saga unzipped her cardigan. No way to escape from his examination.  
Henrik supported her arm carefully, asking to move it slowly.  
When he probed it, she winced at a sudden touch on a sensitive spot.  
"Lilian wanted x ray."  
"I don't think it is so damaged, better use some pain relieving ointment on it. I'll go get it in the bathroom."  
"I'm hungry."  
Henrik turned in the corridor.  
"Last time you ate?"  
"This morning. Coffee."  
"First food or first your elbow?"  
"Food."  
Henrik cooked while Saga reported him all the news about Susanne and the interrogation; when he passed her the pasta dish Saga attacked voraciously the food.  
"Slow down, nobody will steal it."  
Henrik smiled at her speed, indeed she was hungry.  
"I've been starved so many times in my life."  
"Your mother?"  
"Yes. I began to ask food to my classmates and in summer I went on trees to get fruits for me and Jennifer."  
"You never told me a lot about her."  
"It's difficult for me, therapy is making lots of memories coming to the surface and I do not feel good."  
Henrik avoided to insist too much about Saga's mother, after what they endured it was too soon.  
"And your father?"  
"He was weak, a puppet in her hands. She dominated all of us, always."  
"That was the reason you refused commitments and children?"  
"I thought I was the result of deviant genes. My parents were mentally disturbed, they should never had me."  
"Genetic is a science but there are other factors in the upbringing of a child."  
"For me it was so. I knew my family only, then I met other examples to compare with. Martin's. They loved each other a lot."  
"My own family wasn't perfect, I made mistakes...Alice."  
"You didn't hurt her or the girls. You loved them and did everything to have them back!"  
"You find Astrid, you gave me hope. I've been depending on pills for so many years."  
Henrik opened the lowest drawer and took off the small plastic bag, throwing in the sink all the pills. He wanted her to witness his decision.  
"It's the last time. I'll return to the support group and won't miss a meeting. But I need you here, without you I'm lost."  
"I promised to stay."  
"Could you learn to live with me and Astrid?"  
"I can try. I cannot promise the result."  
"Try is enough for me. Now while I clean up you sit and relax."  
She did as requested and Henrik sat and placed a clean towel over the cushion, offering her the tube.  
"Can you do it for me? I prefer to rest a little." Saga asked, leaning more in the softness of the couch.  
Henrik poured some ointment on his palm and gently applied it on Saga elbow, being extra careful on the swollen part.  
He stopped only when all was absorbed and suggested Saga to apply it again the following morning.  
"My shoulder need it too."  
"Ok, take off your shirt, I want to see."  
"Help me, it hurts."  
Henrik saw a bruise on her skin, just at the apex or her arm.  
He lowered the strap of her bra to avoid stains on the fabric.  
"The bruise is already dark. Tell me if you fell pain, turn a little, ok, good."  
Saga startled only at first contact.  
The herbal scent of the ointment was mixing with her cinnamon shower gel, Henrik leaned closer to smell it better.  
His hand went to Saga's neck, the muscles were contracted and Henrik wanted to reduce the tension; she sighed and he backed away  
"Sorry, I forget."  
"It feels good."  
"Indeed?"  
"Go on."  
He happily obeyed, she was trusting him with the possibility to be touched, a moment to remember.  
And he had a confession to made, to ease the burden of shame he was carrying.  
"What happened at the station the other night... I was too angry, I'm ashamed.. thinking I could have raped you."  
"It wasn't rape. I wanted you."  
"I forced myself on you, it never happened before to me. I'm sorry."  
"I'm here now."  
He looked at her: she still wanted him, but he was unsure, that night put too many doubts into his mind.  
"I'm afraid of myself."  
"Come with me."  
She got up and entered the bedroom, he followed, casting a glance to Astrid door, hoping she'd not hear anything.  
Saga had stated Astrid sure knew what sex was, but for him she was still his little girl and he remembered how cautious he and Alice were while making love not to be heard by their daughters.  
He took off his robe and Saga went to his side of the bed and offered her back.  
"You have to unclasp, I cannot twist my arm."  
He took the fabric and his fingers made again contact with her skin.  
Another touch, indeed a night to treasure.  
Naked, Saga lied on her good side, facing him. She too had something to tell.  
"I was wrong, because I decided alone. Martin and the doctor both explained me. We were opposite and we did a mess with the child."  
Henrik silenced her, it was too early, the wound still raw.  
"I denied myself the hope of a future with you not to be disappointed, so when the baby happened I saw a light after so many years and forgot the rest. We have time to deal with that, not now...now let me take care of you."  
Henrik was careful of her aching parts and prompted Saga to lie on her back, while he slowly moved closer, his hand never leaving hers.  
"Tell me if you feel pain."  
"I'm not a crystal."  
"You are for me, the most precious and fragile. I swear I'll never hurt you again."  
"Come here." She took his arm and guided Henrik over her.  
He didn't let his weight crush her and when they joined his rhythm was slow, he wanted to see her face in the moon light filtering from the window.  
His own leg was still hurting so he made leverage on his outstretched arms, hands firmly beside her.  
For Saga, it was something new, she felt they were connected not only with their bodies but also with their minds. They had opened up to each other, asking and giving forgiveness and hope.  
Never she experienced similar emotions.  
Their pace increased, never frantic or rushed but relaxed, like they had finally find a safe haven in the presence of the other.  
Henrik came first, freeing his whole body into her, Saga followed soon.  
When he tried to dislodge and lay on his side, she put her good arm around his back to make him stay, lying over her frame for the first time.


	6. Chapter 6

Ch 6

The taxi turned the last curve and Henrik noticed the Porshe parked in front of his house.  
His heart beat faster at the mere sight.  
He reached the front door hurriedly, he and Saga had not seen each other since the shooting and Kevin's death.  
Astrid required her father, his head wound earned him a long discussion to be discarded from hospital and Saga had been busy with Lilian and all the paperwork, now also Jonas was out of the team.  
He had to retrieve some personal items for Astrid, including her drawing book and colours.  
Saga heard the keys turning in the lock and got up from her work on the floor.  
Her surprise was lost, but Henrik was there, standing on the treshold, looking around with a stunned face.  
Saga had reset everything at its original place, in perfect order, all the mess Kevin made when he tied Henrik and Astrid to the chair and forensic and investigators increased after the crime scene rituals.  
He and Saga stayed always away from the aftermath of a case, it was easiest to leave the place forever and forget the consequences for those who had to deal with.  
And Henrik did forget everything, too concentrated on Astrid only.  
A part of him believed it was right, after eight years of separation, the other, the rational part, had been silenced. Deep down, he was aware they had to return soon to the same house where their lifes were put at risk.  
Saga was staring at him a cloth in her hand, red with blood, mixed blood dried on the floor of himself, of Astrid and of Kevin.  
He never felt for her more than in that moment, her hair clinging to her sweated face, white disposable gloves on her hands, on her trousers the sign she remained kneeled for a long time.,  
"I wanted to make a surprise, I didn't imagine you'd come home so soon."  
"I signed to be released. Astrid needs a few things and I take my car."  
"I'm quite finished here."  
"Can I help you?"  
"Bring me hot water and a new roll of scottex." She said pointing at the bucket, then she knelt again, giving her back to him.  
Henrik studied her, the strength she used to clean every little trace of blood and cerebral material from floor and window.  
"This go to the laundry."  
She pointed at the curtain she was folding.  
Henrik knelt beside her and examined the stains.  
"I don't care about curtains, we can throw it away if you want."  
"I want to clean everything for you, so Astrid will see a perfect house."  
"I should have thought about cleaning. Thanks. Thanks for everything."  
"You had other issues. How's Astrid? And your head?"  
"She's better and My stitches are fine. Thanks for taking care of this house while I was ayay."  
"It belongs to you."  
"You still have the keys."  
"Do you want them back?"  
"No. I want you to keep and use them."  
When they finished it was quite dark and after putting away rugs and bucket they sat at the table with a hot tea.  
"Astrid will be dismissed in two days. My mother arrives tomorrow and I think to go to them for a week or so. Dad will see astrid and you can use the house."  
"If you leave I could go visit my grandmother. She's the only close relative I have."  
"My Dad is not well, better if we go to him. Mom will spoil Astrid. You're free to come and go as you wish."  
"I don't like to be alone here. I visit granny once a year or so, she's 91 and lives with her sister. I'll see some of my childhood places, too. I feel to do it, I need to think about lots of things."  
"About what?"  
"My work, my past, you. I'll travel around a little, I never did before."  
"I'll miss you."  
"Me too, but Astrid need you now. I'm a little envious, but she is lucky to have a dad like you."  
"You know, once I told Kevin that I needed you more than you needed me."  
"It is not true. When we return we'll see how to proceed with Astrid."  
"You'll like her, I'm sure."  
Hernik noticed her face was changing expression, slowly Saga moved forward, closer to him, until she kissed him on the mouth.  
It was short, too short for Henrik, but longer than no kiss at all.  
Her lips were dry and soft at the same time, her breath on his skin, her eyes open wide; he resisted the desire to lift a hand on her face.  
The kiss was a great effort for Saga and Henrik imagined the turmoil inside.  
When they parted their gazes locked and for a moment each saw deep into the other's soul.  
"I can stay a little more, if you want." Henrik proposed.  
"I want you."  
Saga unzipped her cardigan and let it fall on a high chair, Henrik tuned off the light and followed her in the bedroom, closing the door for a while to the rest of the world.

EPILOGUE  
"Rohde, you have mail."  
The guard handed Martin a postcard, a collage of villages of Provence.  
Martin was puzzled, who was in France at the beginning of June? All his kids were still at school and he had no idea who the sender could be.  
He turned the card and immediately recognized the handwriting.  
Saga.  
On holiday.  
Unbelievable.  
Then he read the text.  
"We are showing Astrid Europe. She loves France. I choose to accept Henrik. Thanks ."  
And her signature, Saga Noren.  
Martin smiled and placed the card on the frame of his cell window.


End file.
